These pages are slightly better, I've pushed the period clothing more so that the story can be placed in an identifiable time. I've spent a lot of time experimenting with different face shapes and facial features that will help describe my character better at a glance. Allthough these pages are definetly better than the others, the images still arent as effective as they could be. The characters on this page are far too well built to be considered shy and weak.
The drawings on the right hand page are a lot better, I have elongated the face and added glasses to make him look more studious (the glasses can then be dropped in the water and used as a plot device). These drawings are definetly heading in the right direction and have provided me with a few ways that I can adapt and tweak some of the story elements to make them more effective.